your thong is hanging out like whoa
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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