i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
PANTIES FOUND
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