im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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