I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize