oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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