One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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