I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize