Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize