Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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