Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize