even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
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I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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