I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
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Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
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Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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