i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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