I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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