Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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