i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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