Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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