Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize