Already got asked if we're dating
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
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He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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