My nipple is on Facebook.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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