from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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