put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize