apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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