I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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