i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize