3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
false alarm, still single
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize