It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize