I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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