i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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