I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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