Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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