Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize