Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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