So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize