i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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