sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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