new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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