At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize