This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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