If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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