Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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