Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous http://tfl.nu/o10z
  Replies (9) Good night (1248) Bad night (4983)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni. http://tfl.nu/1ccz
  Replies (3) Good night (3472) Bad night (1337) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex. http://tfl.nu/qat1
  Replies (18) Good night (5287) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis http://tfl.nu/41ot
  Replies (14) Good night (5179) Bad night (1516)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2562) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/rzly
  Replies (3) Good night (1821) Bad night (849) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home. http://tfl.nu/v69g
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less... http://tfl.nu/7jyd
  Replies (5) Good night (1394) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf? (1-608): I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account. http://tfl.nu/4oht
  Replies (1) Good night (2606) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy." http://tfl.nu/udmr
  Replies (15) Good night (1463) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises. http://tfl.nu/7cml
  Replies (18) Good night (1792) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special. http://tfl.nu/z6a2
  Replies (6) Good night (417) Bad night (1042) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cul4
  Replies (4) Good night (1013) Bad night (325) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole http://tfl.nu/7gdi
  Replies (7) Good night (450) Bad night (911) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe. http://tfl.nu/1u5h
  Replies (12) Good night (2445) Bad night (237)

Randomize