He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
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Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
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he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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