I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
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His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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