i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize