Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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