You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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