Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize