i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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