Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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